Instead of spending the holidays locked in my room and working like usual, something happened this year. My grandpa died in his sleep on the night of Christmas Day. I wasn't really shocked about it when I heard the news from my parents. I wasn't close to him, so it almost felt like a stranger died. Seeing my mom crying and getting depressed afterwards did make me feel bad though.
My grandpa's death brought up a bunch of problems that revolved around money. My parents met up with other family members to discuss the cost of the funeral and putting my grandma into a daycare center. Afterwards, my mom complained to me how my aunt that married into the family seemed to be mainly interested in whatever money my grandpa had. My mom seems to dislike her quite a bit now. My mom seems to suspect that my aunt and uncle were borrowing money from my grandpa too.
The funeral took about five hours in total. A lot of people showed up and I had no idea who they were, so I guess my extended family is pretty large. I also felt a bit out of place because I was wearing a suit and most of the young people weren't. There was even someone wearing a hoodie and jeans. I'm pretty sure I was the one dressed properly and they weren't, but it sure didn't feel that way.
My grandpa's death made my mom worried about my future as well. She started to give me "the talk" about how I need to find a more stable and better job or go back to school. She mentioned the fact that if she and my dad died, I wouldn't be able to support myself. That made me feel pretty guilty because she was right. Well, I might be able to, but it seems pretty sketchy. I'm not really sure what to do anymore. Going back to school would put me in debt and I would have to take extra classes just to fulfill the entry requirements due to not being in any sort of education for so long. Switching to full-time at my current job would most likely push me from depressed to suicidal.
The holidays made me realize that maybe all my (online) friends that I've known for several years have moved on. All of them seemed to be doing something and I'm one being left behind in this rut. I should be happy for them, but I'm not. It just makes me more insecure about my own future.
Oh well, at least anime and video games will always be here to distract me. The new anime season just started and I'm hyped up for Seitokai Yakuindomo and Super Sonico. Seitokai is one of my favorites among anime since I always enjoy it even if I'm rewatching or rereading the manga. The only other series that I can think on the top of my head that does the same thing for me is Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.
There's been a bunch of good games coming out lately and even more interesting titles in the near future. I was thinking of writing a post about the game I enjoyed the most recently, but I ended up with this shitpost instead. I haven't even played all the games I bought recently because there's so much. I'll probably write about Rune Factory 4 (3DS) or Sorcery Saga (Vita). Another idea I had was to write about my most enjoyed games for the consoles I own for 2013, but I realized that 3DS and PS3 would be about games almost everyone knows and played already and Vita...well, it barely has any games to pick from, so yeah.